Surrender




28mm by 7mm - Mosaic gold in sterling silver
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As a nomad, I live a lot with uncertainty. I've had major plans change, and lived to tell the (usually fascinating) tales. I often don't know where I'll be for longer than the next few months. I'm regularly dependent upon what's happening in others' lives too. Obviously global factors can affect me in ways that are a bit different than the average person too. However, it's taken me a really long time to begin to get used to this, and while I've adjusted to some degree in regards to this uncertainty in my life, I don't think I'll ever quite get there.  As I mentioned a little while back, I'm a planner, so having all sorts of aspects in my life that I can't control is decidedly uncomfortable. 

What I have learned that helps is surrender. I remind myself that I can only control what I can control, which is me and my response to a situation. Sure, I can do research, and explore various alternatives, but in the end, all I can do is control me, not other people, not outside events. This is counter intuitively freeing. Yes, I feel a bit like a leaf at the mercy of the wind at times, but it frees me from unnecessary worry in the short term. I don't put too much energy into thinking, "Well what if THIS goes wrong?" or "What if this happens?" because if it happens, I'll deal with it then. Why put all the energy into mentally dealing with whatever "it" is if there's only a chance of "it" happening? 

And, as someone who does emotionally and mentally better when I adopt a positive outlook, not focusing on imaginary crisis is better for my well being. So for this nomad, the plan is surrender. 

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